What Makes Life Worthwhile?

What Makes Life Worthwhile?

“Fear the true God and keep his commandments.”—ECCL. 12:13.
IMAGINE a man who seems to have everything. He is a renowned statesman, one of the richest men on earth, and the greatest intellectual of his generation. Despite all his accomplishments, however, in effect he still asks himself, ‘What makes life worthwhile?’

Such a man really existed—some three thousand years ago. His name was Solomon, and in the book of Ecclesiastes, we find his description of his search for satisfaction. (Eccl. 1:13) There is much we can learn from Solomon’s experience. Indeed, the wisdom found in the book of Ecclesiastes can help us to establish goals that will give true meaning to our lives.

“Striving After Wind”

Solomon explains that God created an abundance of beautiful things on the earth—an inexhaustible and amazing source of interest and wonderment that we never cease to enjoy. However, we can hardly even begin to explore God’s creation because our lives are too short. (Eccl. 3:11; 8:17) As the Bible says, our days are few and they pass quickly. (Job 14:1, 2; Eccl. 6:12) This sobering fact should move us to use our lives wisely. That is no easy task, since Satan’s world may well point us in the wrong direction.

To highlight the danger of wasting our lives, Solomon uses the word “vanity” some 30 times in Ecclesiastes. The Hebrew word translated “vanity” refers to something empty, futile, meaningless, of no substance, or of no lasting value. (Eccl. 1:2, 3) Sometimes Solomon uses the word “vanity” as a parallel of “striving after wind.” (Eccl. 1:14; 2:11) Obviously, any attempt to catch the wind is futile. Anyone trying to do so ends up grasping at nothing. Pursuing unwise goals will prove to be just as frustrating. Life in this present system is too short to waste on endeavors that leave us empty-handed. Hence, to help us avoid making that mistake, let us look at some examples that Solomon gives of common pursuits in life. First, we will consider the pursuit of pleasure and possessions. After that, we will discuss the value of work.

Will the Pursuit of Pleasure Make Us Happy?

Like many people today, Solomon tried to find satisfaction by pursuing a life of pleasure. He reports: “I did not hold back my heart from any sort of rejoicing.” (Eccl. 2:10) Where did he search for pleasure? According to Ecclesiastes chapter 2, he ‘cheered his flesh with wine’—at the same time maintaining self-control—and pursued such activities as landscaping, designing palaces, listening to music, and enjoying good food.

Does the Bible condemn having a good time with friends? Not at all. Solomon notes, for instance, that enjoying a meal in a relaxed atmosphere after a hard day’s work is a gift of God. (Read Ecclesiastes 2:24; 3:12, 13.) Moreover, Jehovah himself invites young ones to ‘rejoice and let their heart do them good’ in a responsible way. (Eccl. 11:9) We need relaxation and wholesome entertainment. (Compare Mark 6:31.) However, recreation should not become the primary purpose of our life. Rather, relaxation should be like the dessert at the end of a meal, not the main course. You will agree that no matter how much you enjoy sweet desserts, you would soon tire of them if you ate nothing else, and they would not provide much sustenance. Similarly, Solomon discovered that a life centered on pleasure was “a striving after wind.”—Eccl. 2:10, 11.

Furthermore, not all kinds of recreation are wholesome. Many are downright harmful—both spiritually and morally. How many millions have plunged their lives into despair just because they ‘wanted to have a good time,’ abusing drugs, overindulging in alcohol, or gambling? Jehovah kindly warns us that if we allow our heart or our eyes to lead us toward what is harmful, we must expect to suffer the consequences.—Gal. 6:7.

Moreover, an unbalanced pursuit of pleasure will hinder us from paying proper attention to weightier matters. Remember, life passes by quickly, and there is no guarantee that our short life will always be marked by good health and freedom from problems. That is why, as Solomon further noted, we may derive greater benefit from attending a funeral—especially that of a loyal Christian brother or sister—than from going to a “house of rejoicing.” (Read Ecclesiastes 7:2, 4.) Why is that so? As we listen to the funeral discourse and reflect on the life course of the faithful servant of Jehovah who has died, we might be moved to examine our own life course. As a result, we may conclude that we need to adjust our goals in order to use the remainder of our lives wisely.—Eccl. 12:1.

Will Material Possessions Give Us Satisfaction?
9 Solomon was one of the richest men on earth when he wrote Ecclesiastes. (2 Chron. 9:22) He had the means to acquire anything he wanted. “Anything that my eyes asked for I did not keep away from them,” he wrote. (Eccl. 2:10) Nevertheless, he discovered that possessions do not in themselves bring satisfaction. “A mere lover of silver will not be satisfied with silver, neither any lover of wealth with income,” he concluded.—Eccl. 5:10.

Despite the fleeting value of possessions, wealth can still exert a powerful attraction. In a recent survey in the United States, 75 percent of all first-year university students described their principal goal in life as being “financially very well off.” Even if they reached their goal, would they be truly happy? Not necessarily. Researchers have noted that an emphasis on materialism is, in fact, a hindrance to happiness and satisfaction. A long time ago, Solomon had already reached that same conclusion. He wrote: “I accumulated also silver and gold for myself, and property peculiar to kings . . . And, look! everything was vanity and a striving after wind.” (Eccl. 2:8, 11) In contrast, if we use our life to serve Jehovah wholeheartedly and thus receive his blessing, we will obtain true riches.—Read Proverbs 10:22.

What Kind of Work Brings Genuine Satisfaction?

Jesus said: “My Father has kept working until now, and I keep working.” (John 5:17) There is no doubt that Jehovah and Jesus derive satisfaction from work. The Bible indicates Jehovah’s satisfaction with his creative work when it says: “God saw everything he had made and, look! it was very good.” (Gen. 1:31) The angels “began shouting in applause” when they saw all that God had done. (Job 38:4-7) Solomon likewise appreciated the value of meaningful work.—Eccl. 3:13.

Many humans understand the value of honest work. For instance, José, a successful artist, says, “When you are able to paint on the canvas the picture you have in mind, you feel as if you had conquered a high mountain.” Miguel, a businessman, notes: “Work gives satisfaction because it enables you to provide for your family. It can also give you a sense of achievement.”

On the other hand, many jobs are monotonous and offer few opportunities to be creative. Sometimes the workplace itself is a source of frustration and even the scene of injustice. As Solomon points out, the lazy one—perhaps because he uses his connections with people in power—may reap the reward of the diligent worker. (Eccl. 2:21) Other factors may also lead to disappointment. What starts out as a so-called wonderful business opportunity may end up in failure because of an economic downturn or unforeseen occurrences. (Read Ecclesiastes 9:11.) Many times, the person who struggles hard to succeed ends up bitter and frustrated, realizing that he has kept “working hard for the wind.”—Eccl. 5:16.

Is there any kind of work that never disappoints? José, the artist mentioned earlier, observes: “Over the years, paintings may get lost or destroyed. That is not the case with the spiritual things we produce. By obeying Jehovah in preaching the good news, I have helped to build something permanent—fine God-fearing Christians. That is priceless.” (1 Cor. 3:9-11) Miguel likewise says that preaching the Kingdom message brings him far more satisfaction than his secular work. “Nothing can replace the joy you feel when you share a Scriptural truth with someone and you sense that it has touched that person’s heart,” he says.

“Send Out Your Bread”

In conclusion, what really makes life worthwhile? We feel true satisfaction if we use our brief time in this system of things to do good and to please Jehovah. We can build up a close relationship with God, we can pass on spiritual values to our children, we can help others to know Jehovah, and we can forge lasting friendships with our brothers and sisters. (Gal. 6:10) All these endeavors have permanent value and bring blessings to those who achieve them. Solomon used a very interesting comparison to describe the value of doing good. He said: “Send out your bread upon the surface of the waters, for in the course of many days you will find it again.” (Eccl. 11:1) Jesus urged his disciples: “Practice giving, and people will give to you.” (Luke 6:38) Furthermore, Jehovah himself promises to reward those who do good toward others.—Prov. 19:17; read Hebrews 6:10.

The Bible urges us to make wise decisions while we are still young regarding how we will use our life. In that way, we will be able to avoid frustration in later years. (Eccl. 12:1) How sad it would be if we were to waste the best years of our life chasing the attractions of the world, only to find that they are no more substantial than the wind!

Like any loving father, Jehovah wants you to enjoy life, to do good, and to avoid unnecessary heartache. (Eccl. 11:9, 10) What will help you to do that? Establish spiritual goals and then work hard to reach them. Nearly 20 years ago, Javier had to choose between a promising medical career and the full-time ministry. “Although a doctor’s work can be satisfying, nothing could compare with the joy I felt when I helped several people to come to know the truth,” he says. “Full-time service has enabled me to enjoy life to the full. My only regret is that I did not begin earlier.”

What, then, is the most valuable thing we should strive to possess? The book of Ecclesiastes says: “A name is better than good oil, and the day of death than the day of one’s being born.” (Eccl. 7:1) Nothing illustrates this better than the life of Jesus. He surely made an outstanding name with Jehovah. When Jesus died faithful, he vindicated his Father’s sovereignty and provided the ransom sacrifice, which opened the way for our salvation. (Matt. 20:28) During his brief time on earth, Jesus provided the perfect example—one that we strive to imitate—of a truly worthwhile life.—1 Cor. 11:1; 1 Pet. 2:21.

We too can establish a good name with God. Having a good reputation in Jehovah’s eyes is for us far more valuable than having riches. (Read Matthew 6:19-21.) Every day, we can find ways to do things that are good in Jehovah’s eyes and that will enrich our lives. For example, we can share the good news with others, strengthen our marriage and our family, and deepen our spirituality by personal study and meeting attendance. (Eccl. 11:6; Heb. 13:16) So, then, do you want to enjoy a truly worthwhile life? If so, keep on following Solomon’s counsel: “Fear the true God and keep his commandments. For this is the whole obligation of man.”—Eccl. 12:13.

How Do I Know If It’s Real Love?

How Do I Know If It’s Real Love?
LOVE—to starry-eyed romantics it is a mysterious visitation that seizes you, a once-in-a-lifetime feeling of sheer ecstasy. Love, they believe, is strictly an affair of the heart, something that cannot be understood, just experienced. Love conquers all and lasts forever . . .
So go the romantic clichés. And no doubt about it, falling in love can be a uniquely beautiful experience. But just what is real love?

Love at First Sight?
David met Janet for the first time at a party. He was immediately attracted to her shapely figure and the way her hair tumbled over her eye when she laughed. Janet was enchanted by his deep brown eyes and his witty conversation. It seemed like a case of mutual love at first sight!
During the next three weeks, David and Janet were inseparable. Then one night Janet received a devastating phone call from a former boyfriend. She called David for comfort. But David, feeling threatened and confused, responded coldly. The love they thought would last forever died that night.

Movies, books, and television shows would have you believe that love at first sight lasts forever. Granted, physical attractiveness is usually what makes two people notice each other in the first place. As one young man put it: “It is hard to ‘see’ a person’s personality.” But what is it that one “loves” when a relationship is but a few hours or days old? Is it not the image that person projects? Really, you don’t know much about that person’s thoughts, hopes, fears, plans, habits, skills, or abilities. You’ve met only the outer shell, not “the secret person of the heart.” (1 Peter 3:4) How enduring could such love be?

Looks Are Deceiving
Furthermore, outward appearances can be deceiving. The Bible says: “Charm may be false, and prettiness may be vain.” The glittering wrappings of a gift tell you nothing of what’s inside. In fact, the most elegant wrappings may cover a useless gift.—Proverbs 31:30.
The Proverbs say: “As a gold nose ring in the snout of a pig, so is a woman that is pretty but that is turning away from sensibleness.” (Proverbs 11:22) Nose rings were a popular adornment during Bible times. They were exquisite, often made of solid gold. Naturally, such a ring would be the first piece of jewelry you would notice on a woman.

Appropriately, the proverb compares an outwardly beautiful woman who lacks “sensibleness” to a “nose ring in the snout of a pig.” Beauty simply does not befit a senseless woman; it is a useless ornament on her. In the long run, it no more makes her appealing than would a gorgeous nose ring beautify a pig! What a mistake it is, then, to fall ‘in love’ with the way someone looks—and ignore what that person is inside.

“The Most Deceitful Thing There Is”
Some, however, feel that the human heart has infallible romantic judgment. ‘Just listen to your heart,’ they argue. ‘You will know when it’s real love!’ Unfortunately, the facts contradict this notion. A survey was taken in which 1,079 young people (ages 18 to 24) reported having experienced an average of seven romantic involvements up to that time. Most admitted that their past romances were mere infatuation—a passing, fading emotion. Yet, these youths “invariably described their current experience as love”! Most, though, will likely one day view their current involvements as they did their past ones—as mere infatuations.
The tragedy is that thousands of couples every year marry under the illusion of being ‘in love,’ only to find shortly thereafter that they have seriously erred. Infatuation “lures unsuspecting men and women into poor marriages like lambs to the slaughter,” says Ray Short in his book Sex, Love, or Infatuation.

“He that is trusting in his own heart is stupid.” (Proverbs 28:26) Far too often, the judgment of our heart is misguided or misdirected. In fact, the Bible says: “The heart is the most deceitful thing there is.” (Jeremiah 17:9, The Living Bible) Yet, the aforementioned proverb continues: “But he that is walking in wisdom is the one that will escape.” You too can escape the dangers and frustrations other youths have suffered if you learn the difference between infatuation and the love described in the Bible—the love that never fails.

Love Versus Infatuation
“Infatuation is blind and it likes to stay that way. It doesn’t like to look at reality,” admits 24-year-old Calvin. A 16-year-old girl, Kenya, added, “When you’re infatuated with a person, you think that everything they do is just perfect.”
Infatuation is counterfeit love. It is unrealistic and self-centered. Infatuated persons have a tendency to say: ‘I really feel important when I’m with him. I can’t sleep. I can’t believe how fantastic this is’ or, ‘She really makes me feel good.’ Notice how many times either “I” or “me” is used? A relationship based on selfishness is bound to fail! Note, however, the Bible’s description of true love: “Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury.”—1 Corinthians 13:4, 5.

Since it “does not look for its own interests,” love based on Bible principle is neither self-centered nor selfish. True, a couple may have strong romantic feelings and mutual attraction. But these feelings are balanced by reason and deep respect for the other person. When you are really in love, you care just as much for the other person’s welfare and happiness as you do for your own. You do not let overpowering emotion destroy good judgment.

An Example of Real Love
The Bible account of Jacob and Rachel vividly illustrates this. This couple met at a well where Rachel had come to water her father’s sheep. Jacob was immediately attracted to her not only because she was “beautiful in form and beautiful of countenance” but because she was a worshiper of Jehovah.—Genesis 29:1-12, 17.
After spending a full month living in the home of Rachel’s family, Jacob made it known that he was in love with Rachel and wanted to marry her. Mere romantic infatuation? Not at all! During that month, he had seen Rachel in her natural setting—how she treated her parents and others, how she went about her work as a shepherdess, how seriously she took Jehovah’s worship. Undoubtedly he saw her at both her “best” and her “worst.” His love for her was therefore not unbridled emotion but an unselfish love based on reason and deep respect.
Such being the case, Jacob could declare that he was willing to work for her father seven years to be able to have her as a wife. Certainly no infatuation would have lasted that long! Only genuine love, an unselfish interest in the other, would have made those years seem “like some few days.” Because of that genuine love, they were able to maintain their chastity during that period.—Genesis 29:20, 21.

It Takes Time!
True love is therefore not hurt by time. Indeed, often the best way to test out your feelings for someone is to let some time pass. Furthermore, as a young woman named Sandra observed: “A person just doesn’t hand out to you his personality by simply saying: ‘This is what I am. Now you know all about me.’” No, it also takes time to get to know someone you are interested in.

Time also allows you to examine your romantic interest in the light of the Bible. Remember, love “does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests.” Is your companion eager for the success of your plans—or only for his or her own? Does he or she show respect for your viewpoint, your feelings? Has he or she pressured you to do things that are really ‘indecent’ in order to satisfy selfish passions? Does this person tend to put you down or build you up in front of others? Asking questions like these can help you appraise your feelings more objectively.

Rushing romance invites disaster. “I just fell in love, fast and deep,” explained 20-year-old Jill. After a whirlwind romance of two months, she married. But previously concealed faults began to emerge. Jill began to display some of her insecurity and self-centeredness. Her husband, Rick, lost his romantic charm and became selfish. After being married for about two years, Jill one day screamed that her husband was “cheap,” “lazy,” and a “flop” as a husband. Rick responded by striking her in the face with his fist. In tears, Jill dashed out of their house—and out of their marriage.

Following the Bible’s counsel would no doubt have helped them preserve their marriage. (Ephesians 5:22-33) But how different things might have been had they become better acquainted with each other before marriage! Their love would have been not of an “image” but of a real personality—one with both flaws and strengths. Their expectations would have been more realistic.

Real love does not happen overnight. Nor is the person who would make you a good marriage mate necessarily someone you find overwhelmingly attractive. Barbara, for example, met a young man whom she admits she was not overly attracted to—at first. “But as I got to know him better,” recalls Barbara, “things changed. I saw Stephen’s concern for other people and how he always put the interests of others before himself. These were the qualities I knew would make a good husband. I was drawn to him and began to love him.” A solid marriage resulted.

So how can you know true love? Your heart may speak, but trust your Bible-trained mind. Get to know more than the person’s external “image.” Give the relationship time to blossom. Remember, infatuation reaches a fever pitch in a short time but then fades. Genuine love grows stronger with time and becomes “a perfect bond of union.”—Colossians 3:14.

How Can I Get Over a Broken Heart?
You just know this is the one you will marry. You enjoy each other’s company, you share common interests, and you sense a mutual attraction. Then, suddenly, the relationship dies, exploding in a burst of anger—or melting in tears.
In his book The Chemistry of Love, Dr. Michael Liebowitz likens the onset of love to the rush of a powerful drug. But like a drug, such love can trigger raging ‘withdrawal symptoms’ if it dies. And it makes little difference whether the love is mere infatuation or the ‘real thing.’ Both can create dizzying highs—and agonizing lows if the relationship ends.

The feelings of rejection, hurt, and perhaps outrage that come in the wake of a breakup may thus sour your view of the future. One young woman speaks of herself as ‘wounded’ because of being jilted. “I can only be a ‘Hi, how are you?’ person [with the opposite sex] now,” she says. “I am not letting any person get close to me.” The deeper the commitment you feel in a relationship, the deeper the hurt its breakup can cause.

Yes, indeed, the freedom to court whom you please carries a hefty price tag: the real possibility of rejection. There simply is no guarantee that true love will grow. So if someone began courting you with honest intentions but later concluded that marriage would be unwise, you have not necessarily been dealt with unfairly.

The problem is, even when a breakup is handled with the utmost tact and kindness, you are still bound to feel hurt and rejected. This is no reason to lose your self-esteem, however. The fact that you were not “right” in this person’s eyes does not mean that you will not be just right in the eyes of someone else!

Try putting the defunct romance in cool perspective. The breakup may very well have spotlighted disturbing things about the person you were involved with—emotional immaturity, indecision, inflexibility, intolerance, a lack of consideration for your feelings. These are hardly desirable qualities in a marriage mate.

What if the breakup is entirely one-sided and you are convinced that a marriage would have worked out well? Certainly you have a right to let the other person know how you feel. Perhaps there have simply been some misunderstandings. Emotional ranting and raving accomplishes little. And if he or she insists on splitting up, there is no need for you to humiliate yourself, tearfully begging for the affections of someone who obviously has no feelings for you. Solomon said there is “a time to seek and a time to give up as lost.”—Ecclesiastes 3:6.

What if you have strong reason to suspect that you were merely being used by someone who never had a sincere interest in marriage in the first place? You need not resort to vindictive reprisals. Be assured that his or her deviousness is not unnoticed by God. His Word says: “The cruel person is bringing ostracism upon his own organism.”—Proverbs 11:17; compare Proverbs 6:12-15.

From time to time you may still be tormented by loneliness or romantic memories. If so, it’s all right to have a good cry. It also helps to get busy, perhaps in some physical activity or the Christian ministry. (Proverbs 18:1) Keep your mind on things that are cheerful and upbuilding. (Philippians 4:8) Confide in a close friend. (Proverbs 18:24) Your parents may also be of great comfort, even if you feel you are old enough to be independent. (Proverbs 23:22) And above all, confide in Jehovah.
You may now see the need to work on certain aspects of your personality. Your vision of what you want in a marriage mate may be clearer than ever. And having loved and lost, you may decide to handle courtship a bit more prudently should a desirable person come along again—the likelihood of which may be greater than you think.

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